Jack "Condor" Lupori will return to the links this week after a brief hiatus. Lupori, a North Park, Colorado native transplanted earlier this year to Mr. Haney's Golf Academy in South Carolina. Coming from his home courses of Catamount and Haymaker in the rarified air of the Rockies, the "Condor" had some difficulty adjusting to the snake infested swamp courses of backwater USA. The game of golf is a little different in the South, and being away from the adoration of the mountain girls had the young looper hitting his balls off in every direction the first few weeks of the season.
Luckily, Lupori was suspended after Academy authorities discovered a secret room, replete with cocktail waitresses and go-karts, that Lupori and roomate Hugh Jorgen had built behind a bookcase in their dormitory.
The suspension allowed Lupori to work on his swing with headmaster Haney, known for correcting Tiger Woods swing after he discovered girls.
After a stellar hockey career, leading the Steamboat Willies to multiple tournament victories, Lupori encountered the same trouble Happy Gilmore did transitioning to the stationary nature of golf. In addition, Colorado golfers use a brown ball so it is easier to find in the snow and the Condor ran into numerous unpleasant episodes chipping alligator turds from bunkers. Things seem to be in order now and Lupori returns to action just in time for the Open on November 6th. Follow his progress here, and watch as the Condor soars, dropping birdies from the sky.
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