Playing for the Geezers

Chris Chelios and the Chicago Wolves are barnstorming Texas, giving thrills and chills to the oldsters. Of course those just might be more of the arthritic agony of winter.
Chelios has played 25 NHL seasons. He has 3 rings and more facial scars than a Dinka warrior. Search "Chelios" on youtube, and you'll find fight videos spanning 3 decades.
Currently, Cheli is playing in the AHL for the Chicago Wolves, his hometown minor league club. Before the game in Austin last night Ruben and I debated whether the teams travel between Texas and Chi-town by bus a la Semi-Pro. This guy plays because he loves hockey and relishes his daily smackdown of father time.
In the recent years, Mick Jaggar and Chris Chelios have both played the ATX for the first time ever. Both never age and play for the love of the game. They also serve as reminders to all of us that age is what you make of it. It appears Cheli plans on playing into his 50's and breaking Gordie Howe's record. As long as Chris Chelios is playing hockey, none of us will never be old. Hell, even Cheli looks like a kid compared to Austin College Kangaroo placekicker Tom Thompson. Chris Chelios also gets immortality points on this blog for his uncompromising defense of not just the crease, but also the workers.

Condor to be released back into wild

Jack "Condor" Lupori will return to the links this week after a brief hiatus.
Lupori, a North Park, Colorado native transplanted earlier this year to Mr. Haney's Golf Academy in South Carolina. Coming from his home courses of Catamount and Haymaker in the rarified air of the Rockies, the "Condor" had some difficulty adjusting to the snake infested swamp courses of backwater USA. The game of golf is a little different in the South, and being away from the adoration of the mountain girls had the young looper hitting his balls off in every direction the first few weeks of the season.
Luckily, Lupori was suspended after Academy authorities discovered a secret room, replete with cocktail waitresses and go-karts, that Lupori and roomate Hugh Jorgen had built behind a bookcase in their dormitory.
The suspension allowed Lupori to work on his swing with headmaster Haney, known for correcting Tiger Woods swing after he discovered girls. After a stellar hockey career, leading the Steamboat Willies to multiple tournament victories, Lupori encountered the same trouble Happy Gilmore did transitioning to the stationary nature of golf. In addition, Colorado golfers use a brown ball so it is easier to find in the snow and the Condor ran into numerous unpleasant episodes chipping alligator turds from bunkers.
Things seem to be in order now and Lupori returns to action just in time for the Open on November 6th. Follow his progress here, and watch as the Condor soars, dropping birdies from the sky.

Chump Extraordinaire

Bears fans grew to loathe Cedric Benson and his lackluster performance after being drafted fourth overall ahead of excellent players like DeMarcus Ware and Aaron Rodgers. After being charged with 2 DUIs in less than a month's time, we were happy that Bears management saw fit to cut his lame ass.
Since then, some Bears fans have been having pangs of regret as Benson has been able to fall forward for a few yards this season after catching on with the Bengals after Chris Perry's injury.
Fear not Bears fans. Even though Cedric escaped punishment for his drunken Escalade escapades with the help of Joe Turner, who has gotten numerous Texas exes out of trouble, as well as sundry douchebags, he remains a chump. I am convinced that this in combination with the generally inhospitable climate in Cinci will add up to a midseason flameout.
My biggest beef with Benson is how he handled things in Austin. When he got in trouble he promised to give Austin kids winter coats as an act of contrition. After Turner got him off the hook and Perry got hurt, Benson fled the Live Music Capital and never looked back. And never gave the kids the coats. I know this first hand, as one of those kids comes to my house everyday after school.
When I was in fifth grade, and had Sweetness done this, I would have been heartbroken. I doubt that I would be the football fan I am today. I know for sure I will never be a Cedric Benson fan.

A record that will never be broken

Here's some video of Eddie Gaven setting the MLS record for the youngest player to score a goal. Gaven goes in as a keeper, making him the youngest goalkeeper in MLS history. He then switches jerseys and quickly scores.


The league, pressured by complaining soccer folk, (Soccer folk complaining? Say it ain't so.) changed the substitution rule for keepers. This likely means that Gaven's record may stand forever.
At the time, Eddie Gaven was the ballyhooed star on a hapless New York Metro Stars team. The team sold jerseys and posters emblazoned with Gaven's name. At the time he was the youngest player named to the All-Star team. He's since been traded to the Columbus Crew, who won last years MLS Cup and are poised to repeat. Gaven plays a supporting role. This begs the age old question: would you rather be the best player on a bad team, or an ordinary player on the best team?
Adding insult to injury, a lot of us believe Gaven is blocked from any World Cup action by the coach's son who plays his same position. Or maybe we should say adding incentive to injury.

betzy

How do you follow perfection? First keep it up there all summer. How's that for an excuse for not blogging all summer? Then follow with pictures of beautiful women. Betzy Jiminez trains near where I work and has been spotted recently, so it must be cross country season. Watching her run is a treat that everyone should get to enjoy but few do because of the obscurity of cross country. There are a few other Texas women athletes who will be stars, but others will write about them.
Betzy may never get the recognition she deserves, but she is the real deal. She's a natural. Originally a volleyball player, she's only been running for a few years and is already a top NCAA athlete.
I truly believe that Title IX has everything to do with her ability to compete and go to school and most importantly, break up the day, and inject a bit of joy into the robotic machinations of this working stiff. Title IX also helps women where other programs fail.
Please do not read perhaps the most chauvinistic article ever written in opposition to Title IX. If this article had any evidential merit, I might argue with is idiot, but someone might be listening. Did Clay's sisters used to beat him up everyday? What kind of an ass would object to the positive contributions Title IX has made to our sports world? What kind of misogynist doesn't like the beauty and grace that women have added to sports that if nothing else at least offsets the ugliness and corruption that permeates men's sports? A guy who thinks MIT has one of the biggest sports programs I guess.
I can't explain or defend this douchebag, but I will say that a lot of us feel quite the opposite.