Soccer Belles

The biggest game of King of the Hill is shaping up nicely at 7,000 feet. July 15-17 brings all the soccer teams from Colorado to Steamboat Springs for the annual Mountain tournament to determine state supremacy. The Steamboat Strikers(U-10), coached by Bill and Ted of Excellent Adventure fame, are gelling as a team and are blessed to have the powerful leg of Caroline "Drive" Lupori in the event of any shootouts. If her performance at the Border Battle in Grand Junction in May is any indication, the younger girls should improve on their fourth place finish in that tourney. A quiet leader pictured here with team physician Chicago Sling, "Drive" personifies stealth, and should be more than ready to take on all comers in the upcoming tourney on home turf. Caroline's sister, Ellese, shown below, leads the U-13's. The older Lupori is a seasoned veteran on the pitch and is surely looking to avenge a loss to Grand Junction in the Border Battle. The loss was especially agonizing as it was played on a literally uneven playing field and facilitated by the hometown ref, Jackpot Cruikshank, who extended injury time indefinitely until his 19 year old daughter could put in the game "winner." Look for Lupori to drill a couple through early to remove the possibility of a repeat of the travesty. One disgruntled Steamboat supporter was overheard saying, " I can't wait to get those bitches at altitude."
The Grand Junction roadtrip also involved an exhibition race between Steamboat FC striker Kenzie G. and the crippled old man who carries the water and oranges for "Drive." In a stunning upset, Sling won! The video below cuts off abruptly but rest assured Sling won, and Kenzie should be especially motivated to win the Steamboat tourney next month. Sling is reported to have retired from racing, but his son, "Condor" should be available for any 6 yard dash challenges from anyone.

Dump J, Draft T.J.

The Bears actually have a first round pick this year! Should be good news, but as they've squandered every first round pick in recent memory they should not bother with Kiper pseudo science and make a statement with this year's 29th pick. I confess to drinking the Cutler Kool Aid, but I've come to realize Jay's done. No matter how well he does in the future, he's lost the faith of the fans and that is the end in Chitown. Ask Sammy Sosa. VY could replace him as the 49th QB since McMahon, but you can't replace the flake with a flake so the Bears should draft The University's Taylor Jungmann. Yes, I know he plays baseball mostly, but he would be a suitable replacement for the disgrace from Santa Claus, Indiana.
Jungmann only played a little football in high school but showed he has the multiple dimensions to take over from Caleb Haney, when as a stellar prep hoopster he averaged 22 ppg and 18 rpg as a junior. He 's got the height and has added enough weight this year to match Cutler on the tape measure.
Most importantly he has the things Jay doesn't; leadership, accuracy and toughness. He is the undeniable leader of the 2011 Horns baseball squad. Usually the team leader in baseball is an everyday player, but Jungmann is the one players look to on the 40 acres for the clues on how to act and play. Jungmann is also incredibly accurate with his arm, something Jay isn't. We forgave him for all those interceptions in 2009, and then he turned around and threw almost as many, at arguably worse times last year. I've come to the conclusion his success at Denver was probably due to Brandon Marshall being the greatest receiver ever. Jay's second favorite, after Charles Woodson. Jungmann throws hard but he's no Nuke LaLoosh. His pinpoint accuracy adds up to strikeouts and victories galore and an ERA we haven't seen since Bob Gibson took time off from his day job with the Globetrotters to work a few summers in St. Louis for that team we will not mention. Johnny Knox will never have to learn to come back for the ball with Jungmann at the helm. Finally, Jungmann is tough. Jay, as Brian Urlacher warned us "is a pussy." When other players are talking about parties and per diems, T.J. relishes discussion about getting smashed in the face with line drives. He is famous for working through mental lapses and finishing strong, completing 5 games and counting in the 2011 campaign.
Unfortunately, it looks like Jugmann will go higher than 27th in the MLB draft so will probably and graciously decline the Bears, allowing them to not waste the time and money that they did on Curtis Ennis and all the others. Let's hope he goes to the Orioles or Senators, so he can school Danny G. in the fine art of throwing optical illusions.
Some mocK drafts have the Bears taking some receiver from Indiana in round two. I'd say we've had our fill of overrated Indiana football heroes for a while.
Instead, the Bears should take (OL) Ben Lamaak from Iowa State. A lot of guys tore up the Horns gridders this year, but Lamaak tore them up the most. He's the real deal and could help us forget about Garza.

Next UT National Champs

UT Softball will be the next National Champions on the 40 Acres. This may seem like a bold prediction given the lofty rankings of a number of other sports, but these women are the real deal.
They added Rachel Fox, giving them two Cat Osterman caliber pitchers. They have veteran player leadership with Nadia Taylor and the offense overall is light years from what it was the last two seasons. Joltin' Taylor Hoagland is the best hitter on campus, male or female. She is also a deceptive base stealer and with the speedy new young players coach Connie Clark has brought in, it is really hard to find a weakness anywhere.
The Longhorns are also the first ever underrated team at UT. The local daily is mostly responsible for this. When Blair Luna pitched a perfect game last week against the (next) best team in the country, Washington, it warranted one sentence among the endless pages about Mack Brown's flailing attempt to rebuild his sorry squad. Teams from other cities and countries get more press here than these next champs. These women may be content to fly under the radar because Clark is the only UT coach who understands what swagger really is. In all the men's sports it is simple arrogance. Clark knows it is actually a quiet self confidence and the team seems to really get it. They are focused and aggressive, yet humble and positive.
The tournament is always a minefield and if they falter they will win it next year, as they are bringing in anther killer pitching recruit, and almost all of this year's squad will return. The other factor in my chalking is all other UT teams are mediocre and will stay that way until they put some of these coaching dinosaurs out to pasture.
Mark your calendar. These horns have. 6/8/11

Fire the Coach!

Why do the Horns stink?
The kneejerks would say that Greg Davis' tiny brain is the culprit, but it's more systematic than that. All of the revenue sports' teams are lackluster. It is a combination of factors, but if you have to point to a single person, he is Rick Barnes.
After Luke Axtell got Tom Penders fired, Barnes came in and with his Mack Brown sweet southern drawl we were saved from those yankee college coaches, Penders and Mackovic. Barnes and Brown were able to recruit the top tier athletes that up until then were going to the pros in basketball and to non-academic football institutions like Oklahoma. They promised recruits that UT was the best avenue to the pros, and they delivered. There are now more Texas exes in the pros than ever before.
The problem is that winning teams became an afterthought, and things like quality backup QBs evaporated.
Allowing underclassmen in the NFL and forcing prep hoopsters to do time in the NCAA just exacerbated the problem. The teams that are senior loaded like Duke b-ball and Boise State football began to rise to the top and the Texas/Florida/Michigan pro mills are floundering.
Longhorns of old used to live to beat OU. It was all they talked about. Today's pitstop prima donnas focus primarily on video games and their per diem checks.
The straw that broke the camel's back was the introduction of general studies degrees. Now UT could compete for the dunces. Guys that in the past would be forced to go the juco route, or lower like OU, could now go straight to UT! This did nothing to help build winning teams, but it did help ding-a-lings like Sergio Kindle climb the stairs to the NFL.
Firing Rick Barnes, who couldn't coach his way out of game against the Washington Generals, would be a start, but things probably won't get better until the guy behind all the underachieving, past and present, retires -- DeLoss Dodds. Until then go to Shaggy Bevo to lift your spirits

DuPage South

Texas goalkeeper Alexa Gaul has been named the Big 12 Defensive Player of the Week. Gaul posted her third shutout of the season on Monday in the Longhorns’ 1-0 upset win over No. 10 BYU. Gaul grew up in Naperville, Ill.
Freshman forward Leah Fortune scored her third goal of the season in the BYU win. She is the Newcomer of the week and hails from Brazil, by way of West Chicago.
There was a time that Texas never recruited out of state.
Football still thrives without global recruiting, and after getting burned by Chris Simms may never again search beyond the borders. Other sports however have seen success recruiting elsewhere. Apparently, we have some appeal to the girls of DuPage County. No doubt the warm weather and familiar Republican politics make the Forty Acres irresistible to those residing along the mighty Duper.
I credit Tom Penders with these outreach efforts. An anemic basketball program was revitalized overnight primarily with imports. Today, the best hoops newcomers, Tristan Thompson and Shanice McKoy call Toronto home.
Look here, as Leah inbounds the ball all the way from Butterfield Road to Dedman Drive: