Fire the Coach!

Why do the Horns stink?
The kneejerks would say that Greg Davis' tiny brain is the culprit, but it's more systematic than that. All of the revenue sports' teams are lackluster. It is a combination of factors, but if you have to point to a single person, he is Rick Barnes.
After Luke Axtell got Tom Penders fired, Barnes came in and with his Mack Brown sweet southern drawl we were saved from those yankee college coaches, Penders and Mackovic. Barnes and Brown were able to recruit the top tier athletes that up until then were going to the pros in basketball and to non-academic football institutions like Oklahoma. They promised recruits that UT was the best avenue to the pros, and they delivered. There are now more Texas exes in the pros than ever before.
The problem is that winning teams became an afterthought, and things like quality backup QBs evaporated.
Allowing underclassmen in the NFL and forcing prep hoopsters to do time in the NCAA just exacerbated the problem. The teams that are senior loaded like Duke b-ball and Boise State football began to rise to the top and the Texas/Florida/Michigan pro mills are floundering.
Longhorns of old used to live to beat OU. It was all they talked about. Today's pitstop prima donnas focus primarily on video games and their per diem checks.
The straw that broke the camel's back was the introduction of general studies degrees. Now UT could compete for the dunces. Guys that in the past would be forced to go the juco route, or lower like OU, could now go straight to UT! This did nothing to help build winning teams, but it did help ding-a-lings like Sergio Kindle climb the stairs to the NFL.
Firing Rick Barnes, who couldn't coach his way out of game against the Washington Generals, would be a start, but things probably won't get better until the guy behind all the underachieving, past and present, retires -- DeLoss Dodds. Until then go to Shaggy Bevo to lift your spirits

DuPage South

Texas goalkeeper Alexa Gaul has been named the Big 12 Defensive Player of the Week. Gaul posted her third shutout of the season on Monday in the Longhorns’ 1-0 upset win over No. 10 BYU. Gaul grew up in Naperville, Ill.
Freshman forward Leah Fortune scored her third goal of the season in the BYU win. She is the Newcomer of the week and hails from Brazil, by way of West Chicago.
There was a time that Texas never recruited out of state.
Football still thrives without global recruiting, and after getting burned by Chris Simms may never again search beyond the borders. Other sports however have seen success recruiting elsewhere. Apparently, we have some appeal to the girls of DuPage County. No doubt the warm weather and familiar Republican politics make the Forty Acres irresistible to those residing along the mighty Duper.
I credit Tom Penders with these outreach efforts. An anemic basketball program was revitalized overnight primarily with imports. Today, the best hoops newcomers, Tristan Thompson and Shanice McKoy call Toronto home.
Look here, as Leah inbounds the ball all the way from Butterfield Road to Dedman Drive:

FROM THIS DAY FORTH.............

Ask Keith Moreland or Burt Hooten. The curse on the Cubs is powerful mojo. Baseball is the most superstitious game. Maybe it's because all the balls are made in the voodoo capital of the world. Whatever it is, most players know it is nothing to fool around with.
The legend says that a man and his pet goat were ejected from Wrigley field. In Texas we know that livestock is no big deal in stadium or a bar, or a church for that matter, but in Chitown, despite bleating protestations the goat still had to go. As he exited "Billy Goat" Sianis put a curse on the Cubs condemning them to never winning the World Series. 102 years later, from Mr. Cub to Steroid Slammin' Sammy and all the great players in between, still no Series rings.
Apparently, the portly proprietor of venerated UFCU Disch Falk field in Austin has decided to tempt fate. After nineteen seasons of occasional brief water and potty breaks during the course of my workday I am now forbidden to use this state facility.
Fine. We all endure the profound rudeness and arrogance of the UT baseball players, knowing that they're just juvenile country boys who might grow out of it. This is however, too much. It is unwarranted and reeks of the same assholiness that oozes from the preponderance of latent groupies that prowl "the Dish."
It may be hard to tell as the UT baseball has underachieved in recent years despite having the best white recruits in the nation at every position year in and year out.
A coworker, we'll call him DJ Pop Bottle, fearing the prospect of this curse told me that the rule has been in effect for two years. If this is true, it still doesn't make it OK. It only makes me wonder if someone else threw down the mojo in Augie's pre-DUI days some time after Huston Street brought his father's football mentality in '02 and Taylor Teagarden QB'd the overacheiving '05 team to win the LAST COLLEGE WORLD SERIES' THE LONGHORNS WILL EVER WIN.

Fast Ice

No one around here's seen Shanice McKoy play yet.
No one around here's ever seen another player like her either.
All the great Lady Longhorns of the past Harris, Davis, Hall etc. have all been frontcourt players. There's been an assortment of quality guards to feed these greats but never one like McKoy, who put up numbers in high school that would make past stellar Longhorn men like TJ and BJ jealous. The game clips in this video are dazzling. There is one shake and bake move where an outsized McKoy weaves through a forest of opponents seeming to move independently of the ball. Only Allen Iverson has a higher degree black belt in that kind of Kung Fu.

American xenocentrism, yardsticks and a near death experience have allowed McKoy a stealthy entrance onto the Forty Acres. Her unheraldedocity matches her reserved, businesslike facade. Quiet assassin, unflappable QB...time will tell what reputation Shanice McKoy will cultivate. If off court demeanor is any indication as to what we should expect it shouldn't be long before Coach G. lets this magic genie out of the bottle to silently slice and dice the Big (insert random number here) and the NCAA. Until then we'll have to settle for old Marcus Haynes videos.

Carrying the Teamwork

The Chicago Board of Trade is the center of the American Empire. If you go out the back door and west on Madison a ways, you'll arrive at the home of our favorite sports dynasty. A statue of some guy memorializes the Bulls threepeats.
If you go out the front door of the CBOT and travel west down Jackson Blvd. a ways, and then a little ways more, and then a little more you'll be at the home of a dynasty you may not know about.
Marillac Social Center at Francisco and Jackson houses a charter school and Project Hope which helps teenage girls navigate the perils of Chitown's west side. "Hope Jr." focuses on Jr. High age girls and provides tutoring, resources, and a space to play basketball.
The Lady Warriors' leader is Jalesa Haggard (pictured above right) who has coached the team the during the current run of three straight championships. She played at the beginning of the dynastic drive a few years back and brings the positive attitude she played with to the current cast of kids. She emphasizes teamwork and drills her charges until passing and team defense are second nature to quiet confident players like Alisa J. Hill.(left) Vinny D. might still be working if he took a few lessons from Coach Haggard.
The statistical leader of the squad which threepeated in '09 is Carrie "Steal Wheels" Randle. (center) Randle amassed 77 steals playing 8 games of the undefeated 2009 championship season. To put this in perspective, the entire Bulls team of 1997 together didn't even produce at that rate. This stifling defense from Hill, Randle and the other girls held opponents to single digits in 5 games and a shutout against the AGSAs. If we were talking baseball we would be talking perfect game. Randle and Hill will be moving on to High School and leave a big void for Miss Jalesa to fill, but with the possible addition of Kareemah Martin to the squad, who is reported to b e working on her sky hook this summer, they look to extend the dynasty well into the this next decade. Marillac Social Center probably needs some thing$. I'm not sure what that may be, but I do know one immediate need is a new trophy case, as the current one is overflowing.

Intercrosse

Every four years, about this time, we U.S.sters bemoan why soccer hasn't caught on yet. And as we hold it, ignoring the obvious reason that the sport arrogantly refuses to acknowledge the need for commercials. And pee breaks. This time is also converges with my trimesterly sabbatical where I watch Sportscenter everyday during the funnest time of year. Kentucky Derby, Stanley Cup, NBA Finals, and the annual climax of the Cubs run at the pennant.
Barely on the radar is the lacrosse final four. Not to be confused with the intercrosse final four. No question why this sport hasn't caught on. At least in soccer you can get drunk and still say "could you turn on the futbol on the big screen" without getting slapped. Lacrosse hasn't caught on for the same reason as soccer. It never stops, so you can rent a beer. All us niche sport fans must just face it. If a sport hasn't caught on in 4oo years it probably won't ever. When Indians played 750 on 750 for 4 days at a time they played because they loved the sport, not because it goes good with wings and lager. Cornell is the Cinderella on the Men's side. They could accomplish what Butler couldn't - take a set of Hoosiers and beat the bigger, older team.
The lacrosse story is on the Women's side however.Northwestern is known in lacrosse circles as "the evil empire." They have one the last FIVE national championships. This all since returning to competition in 2002 after the university had discontinued the sport a decade earlier.
Compare this to the Celtics , or Bruins if they had on fifty rings. This is a dynasty that is unmatched. St. Leonard's started girl's lacrosse back in 1890. They would be proud of these Wildcats.

Returning Pioneers

The local sportscaster chatter has stroked on for days about Avery Bradley's decision re the draft. This perrenial discussion undoubtedly drones on across David Stern's personal plantation, the entire NCAA. Forget for a moment that no one would be dumb enough to continue on the chemistry imbalanced path that recently denuded Emporer Barnes has charted for the Longhorns in his quest for an NBA gig.
Of course he should try to play at the level that suits his abiities. He should have been allowed to last year, but for the anti-free market system that is the NBA. The NFL has increasingly joined the irresistable exploitation to such a degree that the companion chatter at draft time has become equally nauseating. The plantation rhetoric seems harsh and hysterical, but only if you can imagine these discussions happening in the white sports of golf, baseball, tennis or hockey. NEVER.
Look no further than the 40 acres for the answer to "should [he] go?" Always yes. Two groundbreaking Horns are re-stomping the college grounds they once stomped with their obligatory socks and slippers a decade ago when buses were merely for running in front of and laughing.
Kris Clack was the first McDonald's All-American to go to UT. He was also the leader in the pipeline of future Austin stars who would stay home. Before Clack, Austin's best black athletes like Kenneth Alexander generally panned UT. Local youth will tell you to this day UT is a white school. While the pipeline never materialized, Clack ushered in an undeniable upgrade of UT hoops.

Technically Clack didn't leave early, but he did put his degree on hold to try his art in the league. Eventually, that league was the Italian league which he tore up.

Today Kris Clack rides the bus to school to finish his communications degree. He coaches the Fightin' Archangels at night and through his journeys and travel has become a thoughtful and balanced individual, worldly wise and humble. Seems like a good choice until you realize it is the only choice.
Kwame Cavil was the first Longhorn to leave early when the NFL's market manipulation was in it's infancy and Maurice Clarett hadn't yet challenged and lost a foolish fight against an industry that makes it's own rules. You wouldn't even recognize Kwame today. He is a coach too, and a father who beams when he's with his kids. He's aged and mellowed like Pinot through his worldly, albeit frigid world travels. He too is riding the bus toward his degree. A high quality individual who should never even had too answer the absurd question asked only of American black athletes. Stay or go?

I suspect John Wall ten years from now will be a star to some degree despite his slightness. Avery Bradley will likely know his way around Macedonia and Greece really well. Both will be good guys that people like and want to hear say something funny or poignant. All of these guys will probably always kinda wonder -- What choice?

and with the....

....75th pick of the 2010 NFL draft the Chicago Bears select.........Prince Fielder!
Assuming Brittney Griner is not available the Fielder choice is not a bad one.
Third rounders rarely make it, and a joke selection would likely give an equivalent return on investment.
Plus he's bigger than the best draft prospect in a decade, Suh. Fielder also could inject a harmless dose of humor in the otherwise business like, no drama quest for the 2011 Super Bowl, and consequent immortality for Brian Urlacher. Alas, I believe Fielder will be too busy saving baseball alongside his loyal sidekick Tim Lincecum. So after examining the draft and the 2009 college footbal season, the Bears should select Dezmon Brisoce.
The best receiver the Jayhawks ever had is drastically undervalued and should be availble late. The Bears most glaring weak spot is at receiver based on the free agent acquisitions and the debacle that was the '09 season. Brisoce is the real deal. His learning curve has been oustanding in high school and the NCAA. Enduring Mangino is a baptism of fire that should remove any sensitivity that Jay Cutler will test. Briscoe is a sure handed receiver who has the maturity to start with the suddenly veteran juggernaut the Bears have assembled. Oh, and he played for the Horns in high school!

That's Right.....!

Harry B. told us a long time ago, and Bobby sang it best.
Once again my job allows me to be a fly on the wall of UT sports. My co-worker, we'll call him Numero Uno, and I were musing about how we heard competing factions of the softball team speaking ill of each other. Being of conventional cloth we decided that things wouldn't bode well for the young Longhorns. There just seemed to be too much jealousy and sundry other of the seven deadly sins to play a team sport like softball. Softball may move slowly, but it requires a very precise brand of teamwork to get the job done.
Before the season started I had them doomed to the badlands of bad chemistry.
Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong. Not only are these Horns able to play together, but they won the opening tourney, anchored by Austin frish flames-thrower Blaire Luna who blazed a no-hitter in her first NCAA game. These smart women are now 6-0 and cracked the top 25 this week to the surprise of the world, and me, and Numero Uno. Things look good for a nice little run at the Big 12 and who knows what else.

“I’m glad we had this game scheduled for tonight,” Clark said. “It was a good test for our mentality and our approach and process. We’re playing the game, not the opponent.” -Connie Clark 2/16/10

Maybe women are better able to leave the silly stuff on the bus, or maybe the whole chemistry thing is overrated. Whatever it is, men seem incapable of doing what this band of young overachievers are poised to do, as evidenced by the up women's hoops and the down men's.
Never mind what the people say. Don't try to figure it out. Just enjoy Blazin' Blair and the 2010 Horns softball team in every way.

Historic may be an Understatement

Today, Kelly Kulick made history. Not ordinary history, but the kind that should be worthy of front page sports news. Maybe even frontpage frontpage for it's significance in our man's man's world.
She has done what Danica and Anika tried but couldn't quite do. She won the Pro Bowler's Tournament of Champions. In bowling, this is the most prestigious major. It is the Masters of bowling. This is not Michele Wie winning the St. Jude.
This is as big as Obama in so many ways. It changes our world forever and takes us places that can only be good.
It will be interesting to see if Hoopster in Chief invites her to the White House. He may have to dig deep into his Blackberry to even find out. I personally think he will. We know he knows how hard bowling is! And may be the only person who can fathom the significance and understand the importance of what Kelly has done.