I believe the definition of greatness is if "they" change the rules to try to stifle the greatness. Tigerproofing golf courses, the ever moving three point line and the outlawing of dunking in college basketball back in the day are all examples of this. The first "great" of this decade is Devin Hester. We can't even use electrifying anymore to describe Hester. It just doesn't do his greatness justice. This year the NFL tried to supress Devin by moving the kickoff and it took only 3.3 games for him to adjust. Hester ran one 70 yards from 9 yards deep. Unbelievable! Then he punctuated it with a TD punt return to break Texas-ex Eric Metcalf's record in half the time. Listen to the announcers tryto descibe #23's greatness over the years. Of course, the original RG reminded me that the rule changes cut both ways and in the case of ski jumper Eddie th Eagle the rules were changed because he was so bad and something needed to be done to save dreamers from death at 90 meters:
I still think the definition works and thus Eddie was actually great. The adjacent articles make this page a classic. Tiger, of course. And the Canseco (steroid testing) vs. Herschel(underclassmen in the draft) fake martial arts fight. How great is that?
The biggest game of King of the Hill is shaping up nicely at 7,000 feet. July 15-17 brings all the soccer teams from Colorado to Steamboat Springs for the annual Mountain tournament to determine state supremacy. The Steamboat Strikers(U-10), coached by Bill and Ted of Excellent Adventure fame, are gelling as a team and are blessed to have the powerful leg of Caroline "Drive" Lupori in the event of any shootouts. If her performance at the Border Battle in Grand Junction in May is any indication, the younger girls should improve on their fourth place finish in that tourney. A quiet leader pictured here with team physician Chicago Sling, "Drive" personifies stealth, and should be more than ready to take on all comers in the upcoming tourney on home turf. Caroline's sister, Ellese, shown below, leads the U-13's. The older Lupori is a seasoned veteran on the pitch and is surely looking to avenge a loss to Grand Junction in the Border Battle. The loss was especially agonizing as it was played on a literally uneven playing field and facilitated by the hometown ref, Jackpot Cruikshank, who extended injury time indefinitely until his 19 year old daughter could put in the game "winner." Look for Lupori to drill a couple through early to remove the possibility of a repeat of the travesty. One disgruntled Steamboat supporter was overheard saying, " I can't wait to get those bitches at altitude." The Grand Junction roadtrip also involved an exhibition race between Steamboat FC striker Kenzie G. and the crippled old man who carries the water and oranges for "Drive." In a stunning upset, Sling won! The video below cuts off abruptly but rest assured Sling won, and Kenzie should be especially motivated to win the Steamboat tourney next month. Sling is reported to have retired from racing, but his son, "Condor" should be available for any 6 yard dash challenges from anyone.
The Bears actually have a first round pick this year! Should be good news, but as they've squandered every first round pick in recent memory they should not bother with Kiper pseudo science and make a statement with this year's 29th pick. I confess to drinking the Cutler Kool Aid, but I've come to realize Jay's done. No matter how well he does in the future, he's lost the faith of the fans and that is the end in Chitown. Ask Sammy Sosa. VY could replace him as the 49th QB since McMahon, but you can't replace the flake with a flake so the Bears should draft The University's Taylor Jungmann. Yes, I know he plays baseball mostly, but he would be a suitable replacement for the disgrace from Santa Claus, Indiana. Jungmann only played a little football in high school but showed he has the multiple dimensions to take over from Caleb Haney, when as a stellar prep hoopster he averaged 22 ppg and 18 rpg as a junior. He 's got the height and has added enough weight this year to match Cutler on the tape measure. Most importantly he has the things Jay doesn't; leadership, accuracy and toughness. He is the undeniable leader of the 2011 Horns baseball squad. Usually the team leader in baseball is an everyday player, but Jungmann is the one players look to on the 40 acres for the clues on how to act and play. Jungmann is also incredibly accurate with his arm, something Jay isn't. We forgave him for all those interceptions in 2009, and then he turned around and threw almost as many, at arguably worse times last year. I've come to the conclusion his success at Denver was probably due to Brandon Marshall being the greatest receiver ever. Jay's second favorite, after Charles Woodson. Jungmann throws hard but he's no Nuke LaLoosh. His pinpoint accuracy adds up to strikeouts and victories galore and an ERA we haven't seen since Bob Gibson took time off from his day job with the Globetrotters to work a few summers in St. Louis for that team we will not mention. Johnny Knox will never have to learn to come back for the ball with Jungmann at the helm. Finally, Jungmann is tough. Jay, as Brian Urlacher warned us "is a pussy." When other players are talking about parties and per diems, T.J. relishes discussion about getting smashed in the face with line drives. He is famous for working through mental lapses and finishing strong, completing 5 games and counting in the 2011 campaign. Unfortunately, it looks like Jugmann will go higher than 27th in the MLB draft so will probably and graciously decline the Bears, allowing them to not waste the time and money that they did on Curtis Ennis and all the others. Let's hope he goes to the Orioles or Senators, so he can school Danny G. in the fine art of throwing optical illusions. Some mocK drafts have the Bears taking some receiver from Indiana in round two. I'd say we've had our fill of overrated Indiana football heroes for a while. Instead, the Bears should take (OL) Ben Lamaak from Iowa State. A lot of guys tore up the Horns gridders this year, but Lamaak tore them up the most. He's the real deal and could help us forget about Garza.
UT Softball will be the next National Champions on the 40 Acres. This may seem like a bold prediction given the lofty rankings of a number of other sports, but these women are the real deal. They added Rachel Fox, giving them two Cat Osterman caliber pitchers. They have veteran player leadership with Nadia Taylor and the offense overall is light years from what it was the last two seasons. Joltin' Taylor Hoagland is the best hitter on campus, male or female. She is also a deceptive base stealer and with the speedy new young players coach Connie Clark has brought in, it is really hard to find a weakness anywhere. The Longhorns are also the first ever underrated team at UT. The local daily is mostly responsible for this. When Blair Luna pitched a perfect game last week against the (next) best team in the country, Washington, it warranted one sentence among the endless pages about Mack Brown's flailing attempt to rebuild his sorry squad. Teams from other cities and countries get more press here than these next champs. These women may be content to fly under the radar because Clark is the only UT coach who understands what swagger really is. In all the men's sports it is simple arrogance. Clark knows it is actually a quiet self confidence and the team seems to really get it. They are focused and aggressive, yet humble and positive. The tournament is always a minefield and if they falter they will win it next year, as they are bringing in anther killer pitching recruit, and almost all of this year's squad will return. The other factor in my chalking is all other UT teams are mediocre and will stay that way until they put some of these coaching dinosaurs out to pasture. Mark your calendar. These horns have. 6/8/11
