Sunday, October 4, 2009

Chump Extraordinaire


Bears fans grew to loathe Cedric Benson and his lackluster performance after being drafted fourth overall ahead of excellent players like DeMarcus Ware and Aaron Rodgers. After being charged with 2 DUIs in less than a month's time, we were happy that Bears management saw fit to cut his lame ass.
Since then, some Bears fans have been having pangs of regret as Benson has been able to fall forward for a few yards this season after catching on with the Bengals after Chris Perry's injury.
Fear not Bears fans. Even though Cedric escaped punishment for his drunken Escalade escapades with the help of Joe Turner, who has gotten numerous Texas exes out of trouble, as well as sundry douchebags, he remains a chump. I am convinced that this in combination with the generally inhospitable climate in Cinci will add up to a midseason flameout.
My biggest beef with Benson is how he handled things in Austin. When he got in trouble he promised to give Austin kids winter coats as an act of contrition. After Turner got him off the hook and Perry got hurt, Benson fled the Live Music Capital and never looked back. And never gave the kids the coats. I know this first hand, as one of those kids comes to my house everyday after school.
When I was in fifth grade, and had Sweetness done this, I would have been heartbroken. I doubt that I would be the football fan I am today. I know for sure I will never be a Cedric Benson fan.

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